I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
