feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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