fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
His nipple licking is glorious
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