I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I did not marry a roomba.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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