Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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