So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
