Pants 0. Shit 1.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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