my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
