I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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