it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
