TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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