Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
