It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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