Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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