This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ketchup is God's man juice
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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