I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
