just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
