how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
