I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
