I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
