why didn't you poke me back
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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