smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
