I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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