Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
