Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
