are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize