I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
