quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
