I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
