I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
