Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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