Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
