apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
