community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize