Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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