He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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