I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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