I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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