you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
