Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
