pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
