Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
