I have demons in me.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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