Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
