just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When are your genitals available?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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