Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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