Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize