The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
