Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
