What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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