FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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