i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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