I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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