He had one of those small greek statue penises
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
