We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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