You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
