Hey man sorry I got all grabby
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
