Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
